Be
Your Own Executive Coach
36 Stories - Each Has a Communication Principle
| Page | Title | Principle |
| 4 | Setting Objectives | Each conversation requires a clear personal objective BEFORE each conversation starts. |
| 11 | What Does Diversity Mean? | Knowing our own strengths and respecting strengths of others bridges diversity gap. |
| 14 | Our Experiences of Authority | When we know our experience of authority, we can communicate in any situation, with anyone. |
| 18 | I Have the Right to Speak Up | Disrespect of authority causes career derailment. |
| 23 | She's Shy, She's Aggressive | Avoid "labeling" people. Describing specific behavior sets both parties free. |
| 25 | Learning to Give/Receive Praise is Essential | Practicing how to receive praise breaks old habits. |
| 26 | New Definition for Type A Personality | Giving praise drives Type A people crazy unless it's specific. |
| 27 | I Don't Want Your Gift | Accepting gifts is a learned process Ð particularly if we don't think we deserve it. |
| 29 | People Don't Listen to "Solutions" | A requirement of communications is to never tell someone something they already know. |
| 31 | We Never Need to Justify Our Behavior | We can conserve our time and energy: eliminate justifications. |
| 35 | Changing Objectives in Middle of a Conversation | Quick way to overcome a deteriorating conversation. |
| 37 | People Can Think About Only Thing at a Time | Avoid pain and anger and stay focused on one idea. |
| 39 | How
to Respond to "Shut Up and Listen to Me." |
There are "choices" of different Exit Strategies to avoid abuse in conversations. |
| 41 | How Will You Speak or Listen Differently Next Time | I accept 100% responsibility for my listening and speaking, no matter what the other person is doing. |
| 46 | How Do You React to Being Asked to Volunteer? | We need to bridge the gap between "fantasy" Ð what we think about, and "reality" Ð what person actually said. |
| 48 | Always Give People a Choice | Being flexible (choices) in difficult conversations is essential to success. |
| 50 | Which Skill to Use When We Get Mad | We must be skilled listeners and speakers to overcome difficult conversations. |
| 52 | Only 5% of People are Skilled Listeners - Are You? | When we can describe the fundamentals of listening, we become part of the 5% who know how to listen. |
| 53 | Listening is Hard Work | Breaking habits takes practice and time. |
| 54 | What Are You Missing When You Listen? | When we become skilled listeners, we discover how much we miss in life Ð relationships, information, self-esteem. |
| 59 | What Emotions Do You Hear? | We continually misunderstand people and each other, until we listen "specifically." |
| 60 | Do You Yell at People? | Yelling is in the ears of the beholder. We need to know our reactions to loud voices. |
| 62 | "Bullsh_t" is an aggressive word - Or is it? | Some people use strong language to make a point, not attack. Do we "hear the difference?" |
| 65 | How to Handle Emotional People | When we "handle" emotional people, we set ourselves free to meet our own objectives. |
| 70 | To Execute=inflict punishment, To Lead=Influence | We can "influence" people trying to inflict punishment by listening to them. |
| 73 | People Who Yell Attack Our Self-Esteem | We can protect our self-esteem when we avoid reacting to loud, insulting communications. |
| 74 | Our Bodies "Speak Our Minds" | We need to "speak" confidently Ð voice, body, words say the same thing Ð otherwise, we are misinterpreted. |
| 86 | He Said Your Care So Much, And People Don't Trust You | If we expect people to trust us, we need to communicate "trust" of them. |
| 90 | Small Talk is a Waste of Time | We waste our time and energy if we speak before people are ready to listen. |
| 92 | My Staff Gives Me Too Much Information | The surest way to get to the heart of an executive is to give ONLY the information he/she needs. |
| 93 | Who Knows Nothing About Football | In every conversation, we need to start with language listener understands, not impress them with how "smart" we are. |
| 102 | Selling "Benefits" of a Physical Examination | Learn to speak benefits Ð pain or gain. People are not interested in the details. |
| 120 | People Solve Their Own Problems | Want to be a successful coach? Listen to people until they solve their own problems. Refrain from telling them what to do. |
| 121 | "Dad, Dad, You Have to Drive Me to Basketball Practice." | Once we discover we always have the last word, we are free to choose. |
| 126 | What Will I Do With People Who Withhold Information? | Avoid "judging someone's motive. Instead, be "responsible" to discover what they need. |
| 140 | Eliminating a Stutter Put Me Back on Fast Track Career | Most Communication behaviors are "learned." Once we discover why we learned them, we are "free" to relearn new ones. |
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©2002
Peter deLisser. All rights reserved.
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